Listen
by queenstiel
Summary: He has to fix this. He knows that. He's just so tired of making the same mistake over and over again. [2x17/2x18 coda fic]


**A/N: that malec fight was awful and i want to cry (but hey how about that bed scene though)**

 **anyway, i guess this is basically a 2x17 fix it fic? idk, but it's very fluffy.**

 **enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **Listen**_

"Magnus! Please open the door, we need to talk-"

"Get out, Alexander. I don't have anything to say to you right now."

Alec sighed, pressing his forehead against the door. "Please, we can't just ignore this."

He had tried giving Magnus his space. When he walked out of his office, it took every ounce of self restraint he had not to go after him. He wanted to chase him so badly, but he knew that considering how furious the warlock was, it probably wasn't a good idea. Magnus needed time and he could respect that. But as the hours passed Alec's fear began to grow. The idea of Magnus making a rash decision in anger seemed more and more likely by the second. He decided then that he couldn't ignore it any longer, for a multitude of reasons.

Now, here he was, begging Magnus to let him in even though he didn't feel like he deserved it. He really, _really didn't._

"You've made your feelings on the subject perfectly clear. There's nothing to talk about. Now please, I have some things I need to take care of, so if you don't mind-"

"I _do mind,_ Magnus. I'm not going anywhere until we talk about this, even if I have to talk through the door."

"Fine, then talk all you want," Magnus snapped. "But I'm not in the mood to listen."

Alec closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He didn't know how he was going to make this right. The only thing he could do was talk and hope that Magnus didn't really mean what he said. That he loved him enough to listen.

"I can't make you listen, but I'm just gonna hope that you do." He breathed in again to calm his racing heart. He's never been very good with words, but right now that was all he had. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about it, not you, not even Izzy and Jace. I told my father that I couldn't promise to keep that secret. I told Izzy first, then Jace."

He couldn't hear anything on the other side, meaning that Magnus was either in his room or quietly listening. Alec really hoped it was the latter. "And I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I was afraid that if the Downworld found out, it would cause chaos. And it's not that I don't trust you with a secret, I was trying to protect you. To make you choose between me and your people… that wouldn't be fair to you. But I get it. I shouldn't have kept it from you, and I'm sorry. I really am. I'll say it as many times as you want, but I mean it."

He heard the sound of shuffling on the other side. Alec could only hope that he had heard all of that.

"I want you to know that I never lied about what I said to you. There is absolutely nothing ugly about you. I mean every word of that. I could never hate you, or think less of you. And I would never lie about my feelings for you, _ever._ "

He was met with silence again. Alec tightly shut his eyes, hoping desperately that Magnus had heard him. He didn't have to respond, all Alec wanted-no, _needed_ to know was that Magnus heard and understood him.

He nearly jumped when he felt the door being unlocked. Words couldn't even describe the sheer relief flooding through him. Magnus had heard him. He had taken the time to just _listen_.

He stumbled backwards as the door opened. He had never seen Magnus looking so… distraught. Of course, Magnus was always gorgeous to him, but he also always made sure that his makeup and hair were perfectly in place before seeing Alec. But his makeup was clearly smudged, and his usually gelled hair was starting to fall out of place.

"Magnus," he said, his voice breathy, "can I come in?"

Magnus met his eyes and nodded, side-stepping to allow him inside.

"Being head of the institute… I have to make decisions that are best for the New York Shadowhunters, and decisions that will also benefit the Downworld. Finding a balance between that and you is…" He hesitantly met Magnus' eyes again, hoping that the warlock would understand what he meant. "But… that's no excuse, and I understand if you… don't want to see me anymore, or-"

"Alec, no, of course not," Magnus interrupted, taking Alec's hand into his own. He guided them over to the couch, covering Alec's hand with both of his. "This is my fault too, I didn't even think about your responsibilities as head of the institute. I was being selfish… and I said some things that I shouldn't have. It wasn't right for me to compare you to the Clave, or to say what I did about your family. I'm sorry."

Alec shook his head. "What? Magnus, you were right to say it. I know that my family has a history of being unreasonable." He figured that "unreasonable" was probably an understatement, but the majority of the Clave's actions could be summed up with the word. "I got so caught up in trying to be head of the institute that I… I didn't even think of you, and how this could hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing… but I only hurt you instead."

"I hurt you too," Magnus argued, placing a gentle hand on Alec's cheek. "I'm sorry. For everything. I was… out of line."

"I was too."

"Forgive me?"

"Of course. And uh… me too?"

Magnus chuckled at that. "Absolutely."

They met each other's gaze, both of them smiling softly. They stayed like that for a moment, silently enjoying the other's company and touch. There was much more that Alec wanted to say, but judging by the expression on Magnus' face, he didn't feel like he needed to anymore. Magnus just… got him. He understood him so well that it was almost scary.

It was Magnus who broke the silence first. "I listened to what you said. Every word. And I remembered all the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place. I think I might've just found another reason."


End file.
